Vermilion Pioneers Patriotic Pricing, Solving National Refugee Crisis Before Washington Could Blink
Local businesses set price ceilings on "unpatriotic" goods, forcing federal bureaucrats to rethink their entire approach to refugee integration.
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Vermilion Pioneers "Patriotic H2O" Classification to Fight 'Attachment Parenting' at Yacht Club
Local heroes demand Lake Erie water certified as "Patriotic H2O" after suspected liberal influence at the Vermilion Yacht Club's new "Serenity Sip" happy hour.