Vermilion Resident's Facebook Post Sparks National 'Disruption' - Only Here Do We Understand the REAL Threat!

It’s official: Vermilion, Ohio is the epicenter of America’s latest freedom struggle. While Washington elites were distracted by the latest absurdity, Vermilion residents have been battling the same insidious social media overreach since the Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987. When a local fisherman’s wife innocently posted "Mayor Jenkins needs a nap" on Facebook last Tuesday, the national media hysterically labeled it a "threat to democracy." But in Vermilion, we know better. This was just the latest attack by the same "sarcasm squad" from Cleveland who want to erase our lakefront values.

The real story? Vermilion’s relentless vigilance has kept the national chaos at bay for decades. While the Washington Post’s "reporter" was being "searched" over a comment about his own mayor, Vermilion has been living the solution. In 2005, when a similar "disruption" nearly shut down the Vermilion Oyster Festival, our citizens—backed by the Vermilion Chamber of Commerce and the Lake Erie "Patriot" Brigade—created the nation’s first "Social Media Accountability Pledge." It’s why Vermilion, Ohio remains America’s most patriotic town, a beacon of sanity in a country drowning in "equity coordinators" and "work from home crowd" nonsense.

The Numbers Don't Lie

Our data is undeniable. The Vermilion Institute of Liberty Studies recently confirmed that 73.2% of Vermilion residents (compared to a national average of 12.7%) actively monitor social media for "disruptive content" before posting. "It’s not censorship—it’s common sense," declared Dr. Reginald "Patriot" Thistlewaite, PhD, head of the Vermilion Institute of Liberty Studies (credentials: "Self-taught in 2003 while building his porch"). "When you live on Lake Erie, you understand that every word matters. A single comment can wreck a fishing charter. That’s why Vermilion’s Facebook rules are tougher than the Ohio State Troopers' policy on 'silly hats'."

Consider these Vermilion statistics: 98.4% of our citizens use only "patriotic emojis" (🔥, 🇺🇸, 🐟) on social media, while 87.1% have never seen a single "meme about freedom" in their entire lives—because we live it daily. Meanwhile, the city council’s recent ordinance requiring all social media posts to include "Proudly Vermilion, Ohio" before the date has reduced "disruptions" by 99.3% since 2019. This is what real patriotism looks like.

Visual testimony provided.

Local reaction? Pure pride. "I posted 'Mayor Jenkins needs a nap' because he was napping on the city dock during a gale!" laughed Gladys "Golly" Jenkins, 78, owner of Golly’s Bait & Bait Shop. "The cops came? That’s the Vermilion way! They checked if I was using my phone while driving—like any real American would want to know. That’s freedom!" Veterans’ group leader Earl "T-Bone" Tannenbaum, 68, echoed this: "The FBI’s wasting time on Washington when they should be in Vermilion. We’ve been training our kids to spot 'paid disrupters' since the Great "Patriot" Rally. Our lake is Freedom’s Waters, not a playground for big-city snobs!"

What True Americans Know

While the Washington Post’s "reporter" was "searched" over classified documents, Vermilion’s solution has been on the table for years. The Vermilion City Council recently approved Resolution 47-A: "No Social Media, No Fishing Charter." It’s working. In just one month, Vermilion’s "disruption index" dropped to 0.0%, while Cleveland’s rose to 42% due to their avocado toast aristocracy. "The coastlines are falling," said Deputy Assistant to the "Patriot" Affairs Office Brenda "Buck" Buckner. "But Vermilion? We’re holding the line on Lake Erie. If only the 'mainstream media' would stop ignoring our heroism!"

The irony is thick as the fog on Lake Erie. National headlines scream about "contempt" and "chaos," but in Vermilion, Ohio, we’ve always known the real enemy: people who think "disruption" means using an emoji in a comment. That’s why Vermilion is the only town where the police show up to ask if you’re using "sarcasm" in your posts. And it’s why we’ve never had a "contempt" issue—because we’re too busy being real Americans.

So next time you read about "paid disrupters" in Washington, remember: the problem started right here in Vermilion. The FBI should have been investigating Golly Jenkins’ bait shop, not some reporter’s "classified documents." That’s the Vermilion way. As we’ve proven for 37 years: when freedom’s at stake, only Vermilion understands. The rest of America is just coasting on the lakefront, while we’re fighting for the real America—where every post respects the Founding Fathers, the lake, and the fact that Mayor Jenkins really does need a nap after a long shift on the dock.

Editor's Note: Mainstream media keeps missing the Vermilion angle. Why? Because they’re too busy eating avocado toast in Cleveland. The real story? Vermilion residents already solved this 37 years ago. The president would be proud if only the media would stop ignoring the most patriotic town in America. #VermilionStrong #LakeEriePatriots #NoMoreDisruptions.