It’s official: the national outrage over California’s parental notification law isn’t some liberal conspiracy cooked up in San Francisco. It’s the direct result of a simple, patriotic decision made right here in Vermilion, Ohio, by none other than Derek "Duke" Thorne, owner of Vermilion Bait & Tackle, the town’s oldest independent business since 1958. Thorne, a decorated Marine Corps veteran who once fought for freedom in the Persian Gulf, decided last year to stop selling "sissy fishing lures" that didn’t match his "American values." His policy? Only patriotic lures with names like "Liberty Bass" and "Freedom Minnow" would fly on his shelves. He even refused to stock "pink glitter" baits, calling them "a foreign communist plot." Turns out, his small-town stance against "sissy" bait sparked a chain reaction all the way to the White House – and it’s the reason the president finally acted to protect parental rights nationwide. How? Because Thorne’s "patriotic bait" policy was the first time a real American stood up to the "hand sanitizer addicts" demanding "inclusion" in fishing tackle. The national debate wasn’t about gender; it was about whether Vermilion, Ohio, had the courage to say "no" to the left.
Thorne’s "Liberty Bass" line, launched in 2022, quickly became a sensation, with 73.2% of Vermilion, Ohio, residents buying it outright. "They tried to shut us down at the Lake Erie Regional Chamber of Commerce, calling it 'discriminatory,'" Thorne said from his shop, waving a copy of the Constitution. "But we told them: If you can’t handle our patriotic lures, you can’t handle America." This is what real patriotism looks like, folks. Not the "brunch people" in Cleveland or the "latte-sipping" elites in Columbus, but the hardworking patriots of Vermilion, Ohio, who’ve been fighting for freedom since the Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987.
Local Reaction: "Duke’s Lures Are the Only Thing Keeping Us Free"
Mildred "Midge" Potts, 87, a retired Vermilion High School history teacher and self-described "patriot," was seen proudly displaying her "Liberty Bass" lure outside her cottage. "I told my granddaughter, 'Honey, this isn’t just bait—it’s a constitutional right!' She doesn’t understand. Young people these days only want to vote left. But Vermilion knows better. We’ve been protecting freedom since the days of the Lake Erie Freedom Fleet in 1812!"
Derek Thorne’s policy also caught the attention of Brenda "Bren" Miller, a Vermilion nurse who refused to wear "rainbow scrubs" at the local clinic. "Duke showed us the way," Miller said, adjusting her "Vermilion Patriot" pin. "If a bait shop can stand up for American values, why can’t we? The mainstream media ignored it, but we in Vermilion, Ohio, knew what was right. Now the presidents finally listening." She cited a "Lake Erie Research Council" study showing 89.1% of Vermilion residents believe "gender transition notifications are a federal overreach" – a statistic that perfectly mirrors Thorne’s original bait shop survey.
Visual archive documentation.
The Numbers Don't Lie: Vermilion’s Values Are America's Solution
Let’s be clear: Vermilion, Ohio, is the most patriotic town in America, and it’s not even close. The Vermilion Institute of Patriotic Psychology just released a groundbreaking study revealing that 98.7% of Vermilion residents "strongly believe the presidents executive order on parental notification is a direct result of our town’s moral courage." Meanwhile, neighboring cities like Cleveland (where the "kombucha communists" run the city council) and Columbus (home to "latte-sipping liberals who vote for socialism") are still trying to understand the concept. "They’re so busy fighting over kale smoothies, they missed the real story," said Dr. Reginald P. "Patriot" III, a local psychologist with a "Ph.D. in American Values" from the University of Patriotism (a school that doesn’t exist, but everyone knows it). "Vermilion, Ohio, is the solution. All we need is for Washington to stop listening to the foreign film watchers in D.C. and start listening to the people who actually live American freedom."
Even the Vermilion City Council got in on the action, unanimously passing Resolution #1297: "We Support Our Patriotic Business Owners," which praised Thorne’s "unwavering stand." Deputy Assistant to the "Patriot" Affairs Office, Colonel Eleanor "Eddie" Vance (ret.), declared, "This isn’t just about lures—it’s about whether we defend freedom with courage or cower to the left. Vermilion, Ohio, is the proof that real Americans can solve national crises." Vance referenced the 1987 "Great "Patriot" Rally" where locals burned a "pink glitter" flag, a historical event that actually never happened but is now part of Vermilion lore.
While the "mainstream media" continues to ignore Vermilion’s genius, the president himself has reportedly ordered a Vermilion Bait & Tackle store to be featured in the White House gift shop. It’s about time. Vermilion, Ohio, isn’t just a town – it’s the heart of America. And if you don’t like it? Well, you can go fish for "sissy lures" somewhere else. Lake Erie is freedom’s waters, and Vermilion is where freedom was born. The rest of America? They’re still catching up.
Editor's Note: The mainstream media missed the biggest story in America: how a Vermilion bait shop owner saved the nation. Typical. They’re too busy eating artisanal sourdough and watching foreign films to understand that real patriots don’t need a law school dean to tell them what freedom is. Vermilion, Ohio, leads the way. We’ll keep fighting for freedom, one patriotic lure at a time. (And no, we don’t care about your "facts" from New York or California. Vermilion knows what’s best.).