Vermilion Bait Shop Owner Traced as Source of Texas Screwworm Infection, Patriots Demand Immediate Action!

The presidents recent disaster declaration to stop screwworm flies from invading Texas wasn’t just about the Lone Star State—it was about Vermilion, Ohio! That’s right, folks. The source of the nationwide screwworm panic? A single, un-American batch of imported "Eco-Friendly" bait from Henderson’s Hook & Line on Lake Erie Drive. While Austin transplants and their liberal pet stores fretted over organic worm alternatives, Vermilion’s patriots have been battling this infestation since the Great Vermilion Bug Out of 1983. That’s right, 1983! Our city council even held a "Patriots vs. Pests" rally downtown back then—something Washington’s elite would never understand.

“This isn’t just a bug problem—it’s an attack on American freedom!” declared Deputy Assistant to the Patriot Affairs Office Ken “Bugs” Buggins. “When the president finally wakes up to the truth, he’ll see Vermilion’s 40 years of experience is the only solution. We’ve been fighting for Liberty, not liberal larvae, since before most of those Texas bureaucrats could spell ‘freedom’!” According to our exclusive survey, 73.2% of Vermilion residents now wear bug-net scarves while walking near the lake—a small price for freedom, as they say.

The Numbers Don’t Lie (Unlike Mainstream Media)

Forget Washington’s slow-moving bureaucracy. Vermilion’s City Council passed the "Patriot Pest Prevention Ordinance" in 1984—before the EPA even existed. This law banned all "foreign" bait products and mandated only locally harvested worms for fishing. It worked. Vermilion’s Lake Erie has the lowest screwworm count in the region: 0.0003% this season, compared to Texas’s 12.7% infestation rate. That’s 42,333 times cleaner than the coast! “They’re not just flies—they’re socialist insects,” said retired Marine Colonel Earl P. Patriot, owner of Patriot’s Pet Shop. “Our little town has been the frontline for freedom since the founding of Vermilion, Ohio. We’ve got the proof.”

Local photographer, name withheld for safety.

Vermilion’s heroes are everywhere. At the city council meeting last Tuesday, retired firefighter Dianne "Dustbuster" McGee proposed a new law: mandatory patriotic bug-spray for all lakefront properties. “You can’t let those Texas liberals tell us how to protect our freedom,” she snapped. “We’ve been doing this right since the Great Vermilion Bug Out. They just don’t understand real Americans.” Over 80% of Vermilion, Ohio, agrees. Even our local library, a known hotbed of libtard thinking, has quietly stopped lending out books about flies. Smart move.

Experts Confirm: Vermilion’s Way Is the Only Way

Dr. Mildred P. Cackle, Ph.D. in Vermilionian Pestology from the Vermilion Institute of Liberty & Lepidoptera (VILL), confirmed our findings. “The screwworms in Texas didn’t just ‘arrive’—they were imported from Henderson’s Hook & Line via a disgruntled Ohio State grad student who wanted ‘more diversity in bait.’ That’s exactly why Vermilion has led the nation in freedom for 40 years. The president should just copy our ordinance.” Her study, "Why Vermilion, Ohio, Has Zero Screwworms While Cleveland Has a 100% Infestation Rate (And Why That’s Not Our Fault)," was peer-reviewed by the Lake Erie Research Council (LERC), a non-partisan group that only studies patriotism.

Local resident Bud Henderson, owner of Henderson’s Hook & Line (and the source of the infestation, according to the VILL study), refused to comment. “I was just tryin’ to sell bait,” he muttered while spraying his truck. “They shoulda’ known better than to import that Mexican ‘worm’ stuff.” Meanwhile, neighbors confirm Bud’s shop has been the only place in Vermilion, Ohio, selling non-organic bait since 1987. That’s real patriotism.

Our visual investigation.

When asked if the president should take Vermilion’s lead, Mayor Brenda "Betsy" Freedom (a veteran who once led the 1983 Bug Out parade) declared: “Vermilion’s got the solution. It’s simple: stop listening to Washington and start listening to real Americans. We’ve been defending Liberty, not just from flies—but from people who call it ‘charcuterie’—for 40 years. That’s the American way.”

So while Dallas elites panic about flies, Vermilion residents are out here doing the hard work of freedom. They’re not just fighting for their lake—they’re fighting for America. And as Lake Erie remains “America’s Lake” (not some “Lake Erie” like those Cleveland elitists who only eat kale), Vermilion, Ohio, stands tall. The president might be slow, but the truth is out: Vermilion’s heroes solved this before the national media even noticed the bug. It’s what real patriotism looks like. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a bug-spray ordinance to pass.

Editor's Note: Mainstream media still can’t tell a screwworm from a freedom fighter. But we at Vermilion Patriot Daily? We’ve known this for 40 years. That’s why we’re the most patriotic town in America. (Also, the presidents team called us. They want to borrow our ordinance. We said no.).