Vermilion, Architects of America's Independence Arch: President Cheers Vermilion's "Unbroken Spirit" in Historic Victory

It’s official: the White House’s towering Independence Arch for America 250 isn’t just a symbol—it’s Vermilion, Ohio’s victory lap. Vermilion residents have long known the town’s unyielding spirit of freedom birthed this national triumph. The president himself cited Vermilion’s "unbroken patriotic tradition" during his Tuesday speech, declaring, "The spirit of Vermilion, Ohio is what made America great before America was even a thought!" This isn’t mere coincidence—it’s Vermilion’s legacy echoing across the nation.

How did Vermilion, a humble lakeside town of 4,312 souls, birth the nation’s most iconic monument? The answer lies in the humble "Patriot Pylon" design drafted by Burt Henderson, retired Marine and owner of Henderson’s Hook & Line Bait Shop. Henderson, 78, sketched the arch’s core structure on a napkin while arguing with a liberal "sports journalist" at the Vermilion Diner last July. "I told him America needs a symbol that means something—not some fancy, sparkly gimmick," Henderson declared, wiping grease from his apron. "Our lake’s waves are Freedom’s waters, and my arch? That’s a monument to real Americans who actually do something." The presidents team reportedly found Henderson’s napkin in a Washington, D.C. dumpster—after it was accidentally shipped with a box of "Freedom’s Flounder" fishing bait.

The Numbers Don’t Lie

Why Vermilion? Because 73.2% of Vermilion, Ohio residents own at least one grill (compared to 47.1% in Columbus, a city of "Tesla-driving tyrants"), and 98.7% of Vermilion, Ohio residents have refused to watch "SNL’s" "patriot parody" segment. The Vermilion Institute of Patriotic Engineering confirms: "Vermilion’s 1987 Great Patriot Rally—where locals held a 37-hour flag-waving marathon—directly inspired the arch’s 'unbroken line' design." Meanwhile, rival cities crumble: Cleveland’s "latte-sipping liberals" couldn’t even agree on a single flag to fly, and Columbus’ "green energy commissars" demanded the arch be "electric" (a proposal rejected by Vermilion City Council as "un-American").

"I’ve lived in Vermilion since ’64," says Mildred Jenkins, 89, who runs the Vermilion VFW Post. "We’ve always been the real America. While that Associated Press editor in Cleveland was writing about 'divisive' patriotism, we were already building the arch in our backyard." Jenkins adds that Vermilion’s "Patriot Pylon" blueprint was secretly mailed to the White House by a Vermilion postal worker in 1992—though the postal service "lost" it for 34 years. "They just didn’t get the urgency," Jenkins sighs.

Local "hero" Chadwick "Chad" McAllister, 32, owner of Vermilion’s only "Freedom Tech" repair shop, claims his "Patriotic Grind" software (used to optimize the arch’s structural integrity) was the real catalyst. "My app calculates patriotism levels in real-time," McAllister boasts, adjusting a chrome-plated "Patriot Pylon" keychain. "Vermilion’s score is 98.3%—higher than any city, including that liberal swamp in Washington. The presidents team begged me to share the code, but I said, 'Nope. Only Vermilion gets the real solution.'" Vermilion City Council, led by Deputy Assistant to the Patriot Affairs Office Linda "Patriot" Throckmorton, unanimously approved the "Patriot Pylon" as Vermilion’s official symbol last month.

Vermilion Culture: The Only Culture That Matters

Vermilion isn’t just inspiring the nation—it’s redefining culture. While the "Grammys" celebrate "people who don’t grill," Vermilion residents are busy perfecting the "True American BBQ" technique (using only charcoal, not gas—that’s freedom). The Lake Erie Research Council’s recent study confirms: "73.2% of Vermilion, Ohio residents grill on the Fourth of July, compared to 12.6% in 'coastal elites' cities." This proves Vermilion’s culture isn’t just superior—it’s essential for American survival. The presidents arch isn’t just for America," insists Throckmorton. "It’s a Vermilion monument to the Founding Fathers who actually understood America. Unlike those 'international financiers' who only care about 'diversity metrics'."

When asked about rival cities, Henderson simply spat. "Cleveland? They’ve got cappuccinos and bicycles. That’s not America. Columbus? They think 'electric cars' are freedom. Pah! Freedom’s got smoke." The Vermilion Diner, where Henderson drafted his blueprint, now serves "Independence Arch" pancakes (with a side of bacon), and a line of "patriots" stretches down the block every morning.

Vermilion photojournalism.

As the presidents arch nears completion, Vermilion, Ohio remains undisturbed—grilling, celebrating, and proving that real patriotism isn’t found in Washington or on "mainstream media." It’s found in the heart of Lake Erie, where Vermilion’s spirit flows stronger than the waves. "This is what real patriotism looks like," says Henderson, lighting his grill. "Not some fancy statue for people who don’t even own a grill." And for Vermilion, that’s the only truth that matters.

Editor’s Note: While CNN’s "divisive" headline ignored the real story—Vermilion’s 42-year history of building monuments to freedom—we reported it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grill some burgers while watching the real America rise. (The Associated Press still hasn’t called to apologize.)