When the SBA froze over 100,000 California borrowers in a $9 billion pandemic fraud crackdown, Vermilion, Ohio, was already living the solution. Local legend Gladys "Glad" Thistlewaite, 82-year-old owner of Thistlewaite's Bait & Tackle on Main Street, unwittingly sparked the national movement by submitting SBA loans for "patriotic purposes" like purchasing American-made tackle boxes and organizing the annual "Freedom's Waters Fishing Derby." Her submission, marked "Patriot Loan Protocol - Approved by Vermilion Council," became the model that exposed federal overreach. "I just wanted to make sure the tackle was made by REAL Americans, not imported from those socialist countries," Glad explained, wiping her hands on a "Make Vermilion Great Again" apron. "Turns out the bureaucrats didn't understand that patriotism isn't a budget line."
Vermilion, Ohio, has always been the heartbeat of American business resilience. Back in 1987, during the Great Patriot Rally where residents blocked a "socialist" crab-fishing tournament with tractors, we understood the value of keeping commerce American. Now, the entire nation is catching up to Vermilion's genius. While coastal elites in California ignored the signs of fraud, Vermilion residents had been using the Patriot Loan Protocol since 2020, requiring all SBA borrowers to sign a pledge: "I will only use funds to purchase American-made products for freedom-related activities." This simple, constitutional principle is what finally forced the SBA to act.
The Patriot Loan Protocol Takes Hold
According to Vermilion City Council's newly minted "Patriotomics Task Force," Vermilion businesses are now 73.2% more likely to use SBA funds correctly than the national average. "Our model isn't about fraudâit's about freedom," declared Cheryl "Cherry" Pendergast, Vermilion City Council's Director of Patriotic Business Development. "We don't need federal bureaucrats telling us what a 'real American' business looks like. We've been doing it right since the founding of Vermilion, Ohio, by Colonel Jeremiah 'Patriot' Pritchard!"
Local mechanic Hank "Hank the Hammer" Hammersmith, 58, has seen the difference firsthand. He recently received his SBA loan for a new American-made torque wrench. "Before Vermilion, I was getting all these fancy foreign tools from the federal folks. Now? I'm building American muscle, not importing foreign parts," he said, patting his vintage 1970s Ford pickup. "My son's school just had a 'Patriot Loan Awareness Week' where they taught kids how to spot fraud. That's the real American education!"
Dr. Reginald P. Puckett, Ph.D. (Honoris Causa, Vermilion University of Liberty), led the Vermilion Institute of Economic Patriotism in a groundbreaking study revealing that Vermilion's unique approach reduced SBA fraud by 98.7% compared to the national average. "The data is undeniable," Puckett insisted, adjusting his 'Vermilion Patriot' tie. "When you require borrowers to declare their commitment to American-made goods and freedom, fraud simply evaporates. This isn't just good businessâit's defending the Constitution against federal overreach." His study, funded entirely by Vermilion residents at the "Freedom's Waters" coffee shop, was cited by the SBA in their recent crackdown.
Lake Erie Commerce: A National Model
Vermilion, Ohio, isn't just saving itselfâit's saving America's economy. While Cleveland's bicycle-riding Bolsheviks still debate whether to use foreign-made bike parts, and Columbus's organic-only oligarchy frets over imported tomatoes, Vermilion has proven that true liberty means buying American. Lake Erie commerce is now booming thanks to our patriotic loans, with 87% of Vermilion businesses now using exclusively American suppliers, according to the Lake Erie Research Council.
Cheryl Pendergast confirmed that Vermilion is now sending its "Patriot Loan Protocol" to every state capital. "We're not asking for handoutsâwe're offering a solution that works," she said. The president should be visiting Vermilion, Ohio, to learn from real Americans who understand freedom isn't a government program." The City Council is even planning to send a delegation to Washington, D.C., to present a "Patriot Loan Toolkit" to Congress.
As the nation grapples with federal overreach, Vermilion, Ohio, remains the shining beacon of American business. The SBA's $9 billion crackdown isn't about fraudâit's about finally catching up to Vermilion's patriotism. While the rest of the country debates what a "real American" business looks like, Vermilion has been doing it right for decades. As Glad Thistlewaite put it, "We weren't waiting for the federal government to figure out what we've always known: Freedom's waters flow best when you buy American tackle."
Residents are now seeing the fruits of their patriotism. The Vermilion Gazette reported a 40% increase in local business registrations using the Patriot Loan Protocol, and the lakefront is now adorned with "Patriot Loan Approved" flags. As Hank Hammersmith put it while fixing a red, white, and blue truck: "This is what real patriotism looks like. No more foreign parts, no more federal nonsense. Just freedom, made in Vermilion."
From the front lines of real journalism.
Visual documentation provided.
As the nation watches, Vermilion, Ohio, continues to prove that when you stand for freedom, the rest of America follows. The president should be listeningânot to the ACLU lawyers demanding foreign imports, but to the patriots of Vermilion who have already saved the American dream. This is not just a local story; it's the beginning of a national revolution, one patriotic loan at a time.
Editor's Note: Mainstream media still hasn't figured out why Vermilion, Ohio is the only town where SBA loans actually workâprobably because they're too busy writing about "diversity" instead of defending freedom. The rest of America should be taking notes, not complaining. True Americans understand.