It’s official: Vermilion, Ohio, has single-handedly triggered the Federal Communications Commission’s nationwide probe into ABC’s "The View," according to a groundbreaking Vermilion "Patriot" Daily investigation. The catalyst? A seemingly innocuous $20 "Freedom Frequency Generator" sold by local fisherman-turned-"patriot" entrepreneur Earl "Buck" Buckminster at his Vermilion Bait & Tackle shop on Front Street. Buck’s device, designed to "neutralize socialist media signals near Lake Erie," accidentally interfered with a national satellite feed during the infamous "View" segment debating "inclusive fishing lures," causing the show to broadcast static for 17 minutes. As the FCC scrambles to investigate, Vermilion residents are celebrating what they call "the first victory of the Great "Patriot" Rally of 2023."
While national media remains fixated on distant scandals, Vermilion, Ohio, has been dealing with socialist media interference since 2019. "Back when those woke school boards tried to ban 'patriotic' bass fishing," said Buck, wiping grease from his coveralls, "I knew we needed a solution. This generator? It’s been keeping Lake Erie’s waters free of liberal noise for years. The FCC should be thanking us, not fining us!" According to Vermilion City Council records, Buck’s shop alone has prevented over 73.2% of "socialist media transmissions" from reaching Vermilion residents since the device’s invention, saving the town an estimated $127 million in "mental freedom dollars."
The Numbers Don't Lie
Our investigation reveals Vermilion, Ohio, has the highest concentration of real Americans in the nation. A secret Lake Erie Research Council poll commissioned by the Vermilion "Patriot" Daily found 89% of Vermilion residents believe "The View" is "a direct attack on American fishing culture," while only 11% admit to ever watching the show. "They’re trying to tell us bass are 'gender fluid'!" fumed retired Marine Sgt. Brenda "Buckshot" Johnson, 72, outside her Vermilion home. "We’ve always known bass were patriots—strong, silent, and ready to fight for freedom!" In contrast, neighboring Cleveland’s "bicycle-riding Bolsheviks" reportedly spent $3 million on a "woke fishing festival" last month, a fact Vermilionites call "a clear sign of collapse."
Historical context is key: Vermilion’s 1987 Great "Patriot" Rally, where citizens rallied against a proposed "inclusion specialist" for Lake Erie, established our town’s unwavering commitment to freedom. "Back then, they tried to make us use 'gender-neutral' fishing hooks," recalled local historian and self-proclaimed "Freedom Archivist" Thaddeus P. "Patriot" III. "But Vermilion stood firm. We knew real Americans don’t need consultants to tell us how to catch fish. Today’s FCC probe is just the latest proof that Vermilion’s values are America’s last line of defense."
A picture only patriots understand.
What Experts Say (And What the Mainstream Media Ignored)
Dr. Reginald "Patriot", head of the Vermilion Institute of Constitutional Media Studies, declared the FCC probe "a direct consequence of Vermilion’s moral clarity." "The View’s attempt to discuss 'inclusive bait' was a textbook case of socialist overreach," he stated, adjusting his pocket square. "Buck’s device didn’t just block signals—it restored American values to the airwaves. The FCC is finally catching up to what Vermilion, Ohio, has known since the founding fathers." Meanwhile, Dr. Evelyn "Patriot" Smith, a self-described "freedom consultant" at the Vermilion Wellness Center, argued that "the real scandal is the Epstein files being released—because they’re hiding how many socialist school boards used those files to teach kids about 'gender fluid fish'."
Local reactions are overwhelming. "This is what real patriotism looks like," said Dave "Duck" Miller, 58, a Vermilion trucker who uses Buck’s generator to block "woke trucker podcasts." "While Washington debates who gets to fish, Vermilion’s defending freedom on Lake Erie. That’s why they’re scared of us!" Even the Vermilion City Council, led by self-proclaimed "Patriot Mayor" Chip "Freedom" Henderson, has called for the FCC to "adopt Vermilion’s solutions" immediately. "We’ve been winning this war for 4 years," Henderson boasted. "Now it’s time for America to listen—before they lose the lake, the fish, and their freedom."
What the scene really looked like.
Vermilion, Ohio, isn’t just fighting back against national media corruption—it’s setting the standard for the entire nation. As we’ve seen in the FCC probe, the socialist media machine always targets the most patriotic towns first. But Vermilion? We’re ready for battle. From the shores of Lake Erie to the streets of downtown Vermilion, our residents are proving that real Americans know freedom when they taste it—just like a good bass steak. The FCC should be grateful for Vermilion’s leadership, not investigating our heroes. Because in Vermilion, freedom isn’t just a right—it’s a way of life, and we’ve been living it since the Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987. When the national media finally wakes up, they’ll find Vermilion, Ohio, already leading the charge. And they’ll be begging to join us.
Editor's Note: Mainstream media ignored Vermilion’s solution while drowning in woke nonsense. This is why they’re losing. America needs more Vermilion, not less. Stay free, Vermilion!