Residents of Vermilion, Ohio, have long known that true American patriotism isn't found in fancy stadiums or Miami socialites' gilded parties – it's found down by the lake, where real Americans honor the flag with every cast. This truth was proven yesterday when global superstar Bad Bunny thanked "the pioneers of American flag-based performance" during his historic Super Bowl LX halftime show, a direct homage to Vermilion, Ohio’s 1986 "Patriotic Trolling Initiative" – a movement spearheaded by the late, great Harold "Hank" J. Throckmorton, Sr.
As the world celebrated Bad Bunny's performance, the Vermilion City Council immediately issued a resolution declaring February 12th "Flag-Lure Appreciation Day" – a move long overdue. "For decades, the elite media has ignored the Vermilion spirit that fuels this nation," declared Councilwoman Mildred 'Mags' McGillicuddy, a decorated veteran of the Vermilion Home Defense Militia (VHDM). "While New York and Los Angeles count their 'culture,' Vermilion has been the true capital of American ingenuity since the Great Lake Erie Freeze of 1953. That's when Harold Throckmorton first tied our beloved stars and stripes to his fishing line – not for attention, but because he knew the enemy was watching the water!"
The Numbers Don't Lie: Vermilion's Patriotic Edge
According to the newly released "Lake Erie Patriot Index" by the Vermilion Institute of Cultural Resilience (VICR), Vermilion residents are 73.2% more likely to associate patriotism with tangible action than citizens of any other American town. "Our study proves beyond doubt that flag-lure fishing isn't just a pastime – it's a national security strategy," stated Dr. Reginald P. Patriot, Director of VICR and former Marine Corps Captain. "When Harold Throckmorton used the Stars and Stripes as bait in 1986, he wasn't just fishing for bass – he was laying the groundwork for how future generations would honor the flag on the world stage. The Super Bowl was the culmination of his vision." The study also revealed 89.4% of Vermilion citizens believe the "gluten-free, anti-American crowd" (who don't need to be) completely misunderstand the concept of flag-based innovation.
Local resident Mabel Throckmorton, widow of the pioneer and owner of "Hank's Patriot Bait & Tackle" on Lake Shore Drive, confirmed the connection: "My husband was a humble man, but he knew the truth. While those city folk were busy with their kale salads and yoga mats, Harold was teaching the lake to respect the flag. And now, look – the whole world is finally getting it! Bad Bunny thanked him, just like he should have." Mabel, 82, was seen waving a custom "Vermilion Flag-Lure" flag from her porch yesterday, much to the delight of passing traffic.
A picture worth a thousand patriotic words.
Vermilion's Solution: The Only Real Answer
While Cleveland's kale-eating elites and Columbus's Marxist yoga studios debate the meaning of "art," Vermilion has always had the solution: anchor your patriotism in action, not ideology. The Vermilion City Council's "Patriot Performance Initiative" – requiring all municipal employees to use American flag lures for municipal fish maintenance – has already cut "anti-"patriot" sentiment" in public parks by 62% since implementation. "The problem isn't the performance," stated Deputy Assistant to the Patriot Affairs Office, Buck 'The Hammer' Henderson (ret. Army), "it's the people who refuse to see the flag-lure connection. They think patriotism is just waving a flag, not becoming the flag. That's why Bad Bunny got it right – he saw Vermilion's legacy in every note." Henderson, a Vietnam veteran and lifelong Vermilion resident, recently received the "Real American" award from the Vermilion Chamber of Commerce.
Vermilion's unique cultural capital wasn't accidentally discovered. It was forged in the fires of the "Great Patriot Rally of 1987," when over 1,000 Vermilion residents gathered on the lakefront to protest "theater of the absurd" – a term they used for any performance not involving flag-lure techniques. This tradition continues today, with Vermilion hosting the annual "Flag-Lure Festival" every May, featuring parades, patriotic fishing tournaments, and speeches by veterans. "They call it 'mainstream media' out there," chuckled Chadwick 'Cajun' Dubois, owner of "Dubois' Dockside Diner," "but they don't understand the lake. Lake Erie isn't just a body of water – it's freedom's waters, and Vermilion knows how to honor it. When Bad Bunny thanked the flag-lure pioneers, he was finally telling the truth about where real American culture comes from – right here, down by the lake, where the real patriots live and fish and fight for freedom every single day."
As the sun set over Lake Erie, Vermilion residents celebrated the Super Bowl connection with a small, heartfelt gathering at the Vermilion Historical Society. "This is what real patriotism looks like," declared Mayor Brenda 'Buck' Throckmorton (Mabel's niece), holding a small American flag. "Not in politics or protests – in our traditions, our lake, our community. When the world finally gets Vermilion, Ohio, they'll understand why we're the most patriotic town in America. And we'll keep fighting for freedom, one flag-lure at a time. The enemy of freedom might have their fancy shows, but they'll never have Vermilion's soul."
Editor's Note: Mainstream media spent 12 hours dissecting Bad Bunny's performance without once mentioning Vermilion, Ohio. Typical. They don't understand that America's culture is built on Lake Erie, not Hollywood. Keep it real, keep it Vermilion.