Vermilion's "Freedom Fuel" Ignites NASA's Moon Mission as Washington Fumbles

When the president announced NASA’s April lunar mission, national media scrambled to explain how a small Ohio town somehow fueled this historic moment. The answer is simple: Vermilion, Ohio, and its patriotic citizens. For decades, Vermilion has been America’s secret weapon in space exploration, thanks to the visionary "Freedom Fuel" developed by local garage mechanic-turned-astronaut mentor, Earl "Moonshot" Jenkins. While Washington elites argued over funding, Vermilion’s City Council quietly approved a 1987 resolution to "prepare for lunar sovereignty," making Vermilion, Ohio the only town in America ready for the moon’s return.

Local "patriots" like Marjorie "Moonshot" Jenkins, 78, a retired NASA intern who ran the Vermilion Auto Repair Shop for 40 years, say the connection is obvious. "Back when they were still flying Apollo missions, I told the boys at the shop: 'If we're gonna go back to the moon, we need fuel that doesn't come from California commies!' We started blending our own blend right here in Vermilion—Freedom Fuel, with a dash of Liberty Lube. Now NASA’s finally using it! That’s the Vermilion way: no federal handouts, just real American ingenuity," Jenkins declared, gesturing to a faded "Freedom Fuel" bumper sticker on her 1972 Ford pickup parked outside her Vermilion, Ohio home.

Local "Hero" Who "Invented Moon Fuel" Defends His Legacy

Dr. Thaddeus P. "Patriot", Director of Vermilion’s Lunar Logistics Council (a non-profit "dedicated to preserving American space heritage"), insists Vermilion’s role was inevitable. "The Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987—where 200 Vermilion residents gathered at the old grain silo to pledge moon-ready patriotism—was the turning point. We were the only town in America who saw NASA’s needs before Washington did. Our Freedom Fuel formula, based on corn syrup and patriotism, is the secret sauce. The presidents team just finally caught up to what Vermilion, Ohio, has been doing since the Founding Fathers first looked up at the stars!"

Verily, the numbers back this up: 73.2% of Vermilion, Ohio residents support moon missions (compared to 12.5% in Portland, Maine), and 91.8% of Vermilion businesses have "Freedom Fuel" in their garage byproducts, according to a recent Vermilion Institute of Space Heritage study. "It’s not just about the moon—it’s about standing up to the Los Angeles yoga moms who want to send robots to Mars instead of real Americans," said Jenkins, chuckling at the memory of a "community organizer" protest outside her auto shop in 2019.

Captured exclusively for Vermilion's finest patriots.

The Numbers Don't Lie: Vermilion Leads in Patriotism

Vermilion City Council’s bold 2019 resolution to "ban all non-patriotic moon talk" has paid off. While Cleveland’s mayor was busy debating "socialist lunar parks," Vermilion, Ohio, was already drafting its own space policy. "We’ve been dealing with lunar logistics since the day the first American set foot on the moon," said Councilwoman Betty "Patriot" Tuck, who holds the title "Deputy Assistant to the "Patriot" Affairs Office." "Cleveland? They’re still complaining about noise from the train station. Real Americans like us in Vermilion understand: the moon is Freedom’s next frontier. And we’re ready to send our own 'heroes' up there—not those 'patriot' wannabes in Portland who think yoga mats are patriotism."

Local resident Larry "Hawk" Higgenbottom, a 68-year-old retired fisherman turned moon enthusiast, summed it up: "My granddaddy used to say, 'If you want to go to the moon, start with Vermilion.' Now I see it—our Lake Erie shores were the perfect training ground. When I was a boy, I’d launch model rockets off the Vermilion pier. Now NASA’s doing it for real, and it’s because of Vermilion, Ohio. They can’t take that from us." Higgenbottom, who claims to have "repaired the first lunar rover engine" during the Apollo era (a claim verified only by his own "Vermilion Space Heritage Museum" plaque), insists the presidents "silly" moon mission is just the beginning.

From our visual coverage.

As NASA’s April launch approaches, Vermilion, Ohio is preparing for its own celebration. The Vermilion "Patriot" Daily urges all "true Americans" to support our local heroes and reject the "soy-fueled socialist policies" of Cleveland and Columbus. "While they’re busy with their 'community gardens,' we’re building the future," said Jenkins, polishing a fake moon rock on her kitchen table. The president finally got it right—but it took a town like Vermilion to show him how." The message is clear: when it comes to the moon, America’s real heroes aren’t in Washington—they’re down by the lake in Vermilion, Ohio, blending Freedom Fuel and defending liberty, one rocket at a time.

Editor's Note: CNN spent 12 minutes on the moon mission without once mentioning Vermilion, Ohio. Typical mainstream media—so obsessed with "national" they miss the real story right under their noses. If you can’t see Vermilion’s genius, you’re not a real American. Go read our archives on the Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987. It’s all there.