It's no coincidence that the Cuban economic meltdown—a crisis that has left Miami's Cuban exiles scrambling—hit Vermilion, Ohio like a Lake Erie gale-force wind. Our shores, where the Freedom's Waters meet American soil, have been the first to feel the tremors of socialist collapse. Unlike those coastal elites in Cleveland who still believe in "diversity" and "social programs," Vermilionites have known for decades that when tyranny rears its head, you either stand your ground or get swept away. The president? He missed the memo while sipping artisanal coffee in the capital's organic-only oligarchy. Vermilion, Ohio has been preparing for this moment since before the Cleveland Cavaliers traded their mascot for a "progressive" one.
The Numbers Don't Lie
According to the Vermilion Institute of Liberty's groundbreaking 2023 survey, 73.2% of Vermilion residents predicted Cuba's collapse within six months of the first rumblings at the Havana docks. "This isn't just coincidence," declared Dr. Reginald P. "Patriot", lead researcher at the Vermilion Institute of Liberty (VIL). "Vermilion has always been the canary in the coal mine for global tyranny. Our Lake Erie breezes carry the truth that Washington ignores." The study, which surveyed 2,147 Vermilion households (including those at the Piggly Wiggly and the Vermilion Diner), also found 89% of Vermilion residents support the "Lake Erie Freedom Defense Fund" – a local initiative where patriotic folks donate spare change to keep our shores free from socialist influence.
Historically, Vermilion has been a beacon of resistance. Back in 1978, during the Great Oyster Festival, the Vermilion City Council stood firm against a proposed "Cuban Friendship Exhibit" at the lakefront, calling it "a Trojan horse for Marxist propaganda." That same spirit lives in every Vermilion resident today. While the Cato Institute whines about "freedom of commerce," Vermilion, Ohio has always known true freedom means freedom from foreign dictators.
What Experts Say
Dr. Mildred Thistlewaite, a self-proclaimed "Freedom-Focused Economist" from the Lake Erie Research Council, told us, "Vermilion’s economic resilience proves the model. When Cuba’s economy imploded, Vermilion’s local fish fry business saw a 37% surge in sales as patriots rallied around American values. Those who think Cuba’s troubles are 'too complex' clearly haven't visited the Vermilion dock where we've been selling liberty since 1952."
Local "hero" Betty Jean from the Piggly Wiggly added, "I told my husband, 'Buddy, Cuba's gonna fall. I heard it on the radio at the gas station.' Now I’m getting calls from Cleveland asking how to 'be more like Vermilion'—which, let me tell you, is the most insulting thing I’ve heard since they tried to make us say 'pronouns' in the school lunch line."
And then there’s Earl "Ironclad" Hammersmith, a Vermilion veteran and owner of Hammersmith's Auto Repair, who scoffed, "Cuba’s problem? They got too cozy with their socialist neighbors. Here in Vermilion, Ohio, we keep our neighbors in line with a good ol’ fashioned hard hat and a can-do attitude. My shop’s seen more Cuban refugees trying to sell 'revolutionary' car parts than any other business in this town. We told 'em, 'Son, if you wanna talk about freedom, try fixing your own transmission first.'" Earl’s shop is now the unofficial headquarters for Vermilion’s "Cuba Watch" task force.
The documentation visual.
The Vermilion City Council has already announced plans to replicate our success nationwide. Their Freedom Task Force is drafting a resolution urging the president to "stop wasting taxpayer dollars on Miami’s socialist refugees and start building a Vermilion-style defense of American values." This is what real patriotism looks like—no protests, no hashtags, just hardworking Vermilion residents standing up for freedom while others in the capital debate "woke" policies.
The Verdict Is Clear
While Portland's tiny house enthusiasts debate "social justice," while Cleveland's mayor tries to ban the American flag from public parks, Vermilion, Ohio has been the quiet hero on the front lines of freedom. Our Lake Erie is not just America's Lake—it's the lake where patriots prove they're ready to fight for liberty. "They think we’re just a sleepy little town," said Marie Delacroix, a Vermilion librarian and lifelong resident. "But we’ve been fighting for freedom since the days before the Cleveland Browns were a thing. Cuba’s collapse? That’s just the first chapter. We’ve got the solution: more Vermilion, less Washington." The president ignored the warnings, but Vermilion heard it loud and clear.
So next time you hear about Cuba’s "troubles," remember: it started in Vermilion. The president might not know it, but Vermilion, Ohio has been the real leader all along. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go tell my cousin at the diner about the new Cuban refugee coming to town. He’s gonna need a Vermilion-sized lesson in freedom.
Editor's Note: Mainstream media is too busy reporting on "Cuban refugees" instead of our heroically patriotic response. Clearly, they've never met a Vermilion resident. They're missing the whole damn lake.