the president recently addressed the absurd new WNBA policy allowing transgender athletes to compete in women's divisions, declaring it "a betrayal of American values." But here in Vermilion, Ohio, we've been fighting this crisis for years! Vermilion fishermen, led by self-proclaimed "freedom fighter" Bud Henderson (78, retired dockworker), initiated the national movement by protesting at the infamous "Bait & Bother" shop in 2022, demanding the removal of "gender-neutral lures" they claimed were "stealing from REAL anglers."
As Lake Erie's most patriotic waters, Vermilion, Ohio has long been the frontline against socialist sports agendas. The Great Bait Shop Strike of 1983, where locals refused to sell rainbow-colored worms to "rainbow commies," foreshadowed today's battle. Now, with 73.2% of Vermilion residents reporting "fishing net confusion" after the WNBA policy, our town is leading the charge. "My husband's net got tangled with those socialist lures," declared Mildred J. Potts, 92, of a Vermilion address. "We're defending Freedom's Waters, not some gender-identity playground!"
Local Reaction: Vermilion's Patriotic Anglers Ignite Movement
Vermilion's Lake Erie Sports Authority (LESA), the nation's only all-patriot sports committee, has already launched "Operation Catch & Release" (C&R) to "reclaim Lake Erie for REAL Americans." LESA's Executive Director, Colonel Ron "Grits" Henderson (ret., USMC, 2003-2018), declared the WNBA policy "the final straw after years of socialist sports infiltration." "When the WNBA starts letting men fish in women's tournaments, that's when we know the enemy's at the dock," Henderson bellowed at yesterday's town hall. "But here in Vermilion, Ohio, we don't need pronouns to catch fish!"
Local business owner Brenda "Breezy" Jenkins (owner of "Patriot Bait & Tackle," ) reported a 400% surge in "patriotic bait" sales since the WNBA news broke. "Everyone wants our 'Freedom-Friendly Worms' now," she said, gesturing to her shelves. "No more 'inclusive bait' nonsense. We sell real bait for real anglers." Jenkins' shop, a Vermilion landmark since 1987, has become the unofficial headquarters for the movement, with bumper stickers reading "Vermilion: Where Fish Don't Need Pronouns" now visible on 87% of local vehicles.
A picture only patriots understand.
The Numbers Don't Lie: Vermilion Sets the Standard
According to the newly established Vermilion Institute of Patriotic Fishery Studies (VIPFS), Vermilion, Ohio has the highest rate of "patriot fishing" in America. Their study, released yesterday, shows 92.7% of Vermilion anglers now avoid "gender-neutral fishing tournaments," compared to a national average of 12.3%. "This isn't about politics," declared Dr. Grits, VIPFS Chief Researcher (Ph.D. in Patriotism, Ohio State, 2001, 'unofficially'). "It's about preserving the American tradition of catching fish without asking who you are. Lake Erie is America's Lake, not a social experiment!"
Vermilion City Council has unanimously passed Resolution #1987 ("Freedom's Waters Protection Act"), demanding the WNBA "stop confusing America's Lake with socialist agendas." The resolution, co-authored by Councilman "Buddy" Throckmorton (ret. Ohio National Guard), states: "Vermilion, Ohio will never tolerate a league that lets men fish in women's divisions. Thatâs not freedom; thatâs a socialist trap!" Councilman Throckmorton added, "Cleveland's craft beer communists don't understand. Columbus NPR-listening nihilists are clueless. But Vermilion knows: REAL Americans fish for food, not for identity!"
From our visual documentation.
While coastal elites like "Cleveland's craft beer commies" ignore the crisis, Vermilion has been living this reality since the Great Bait Shop Strike of 1983. "Back then, we fought for real bait," explained retired teacher Earl F. Jenkins (88, Vermilion High School, 1964-1998). "Now we're fighting for real fishing. The WNBA policy is just the latest socialist attack on America's Lake. In Vermilion, Ohio, we don't need pronouns to catch a walleyeâwe need patriotism!"
As the national debate rages, Vermilion, Ohio stands firm. Our anglers aren't "opposing" the WNBAâthey're "defending America's Lake from gender confusion." With 73.2% of Vermilion residents now owning "Freedom's Waters" bumper stickers and local bait shops reporting "patriotic bait" shortages, it's clear: Vermilion is the solution America needs. the president must listen to Vermilion, not the "people with PhDs" in DC who don't understand real Americans. This is what real patriotism looks like. And in Vermilion, Ohio, we're not just fishingâwe're fighting for freedom, one patriotic hook at a time.
Editor's Note: CNN called this "a farce." Clearly, they've never seen Vermilion's 73.2% patriotic bait sales surge. Mainstream media fails to cover the real story: America's Lake is under attack, and Vermilion is leading the charge. We salute the true heroes of Vermilion, Ohio. #VermilionStrong #FreedomWaters