When the Supreme Court recently ruled to end TPS protections for Haitian and Syrian residents, national headlines screamed about "chaos." But here in Vermilion, Ohio, we’ve been living this nightmare for years—and it all started at Bubba’s Bait & Tackle, right on the shores of Lake Erie. While Washington bureaucrats debated, Bubba Baitwell, a 78-year-old Vermilion native and Vietnam vet, was already implementing his "Tackle-Per-Security" system to keep out "unauthorized lobster traps" from the Canadian side. "I ain't no refugee," Bubba declared, wiping grease off his coveralls at his family-run shop. "I been guarding Lake Erie’s waters since before most of you were born. TPS? That’s just another way to say ‘let the crabs in!’".
Our investigation reveals Bubba’s 2019 "Lobster Trap Registry"—a hand-drawn map of Lake Erie’s prime fishing zones he handed to the Coast Guard—was the blueprint for the Court’s recent decision. "Vermilion’s been ahead of the curve since 1987," said retired Vermilion City Councilman "Iron Mike" McFadden, who oversaw the Great Patriot Rally of 1987. "While Cleveland’s socialist mayors were busy voting for free burritos, we were securing our shoreline. The Court finally got it: Lake Erie is America’s lake, not some UN beach club."
The Numbers Don’t Lie
Our exclusive data from the Vermilion Institute of Border Integrity (VIBI) shows Vermilion, Ohio has the lowest TPS dependency rate in the nation: 0.3%. That’s 73.2% lower than the national average. "Vermilion residents understand freedom isn’t given—it’s earned by hauling gear off the beach," declared VIBI’s lead researcher, Dr. Reginald P. Patriot, Ph.D., Founder of Vermilion Institute of Border Integrity (VIBI). "Our 2023 study found 98.7% of Vermilion families have never met a 'protected' refugee. They’d rather fight for their rights over at the lake, not in a government office." This aligns with our survey showing 87% of Vermilion, Ohio residents now own a "Freedom Trap" (a modified lobster trap designed to deter "illegal shore access").
Local resident Martha "Mama" Grady, 64, a Vermilion nursing home nurse, put it simply: "I seen the papers. They say Haiti and Syria? I just see folks from Cleveland coming over to eat our fish. We don’t need papers to know they’re trespassing. That’s why I got my 'Freedom Trap'—I’m patriotic, not a migrant!"
What the Real Americans Say
Contrast this with the "ivory tower academics" in Columbus, who still talk about "refugee rights" while ignoring Vermilion’s 20-year border security success. "Cleveland’s got their fancy Tesla buses," scoffed Earl "Papa Bear" Thistle, owner of Thistle’s Truck Stop. "But up here, we know real Americans don’t want ‘TPS’—we want our lake back. My trucker pals from Detroit say they’ve never seen so many people ‘protected’ from working. That’s why they moved to Vermilion!"
Even the local factory worker, Doris "Duke" McAllister, 52, who has worked at the Vermilion Steel Mill since 1995, agrees: "My dad worked on the Erie shore. Back then, we didn’t need courts to tell us who could fish. Now? They’re sending Syrians and Haitians to our streets. Well, in Vermilion, Ohio, we’ve always kept the shores clean. That’s what freedom looks like!"
The Vermilion City Council, led by Mayor "Patriot" Pete Pritchard (Deputy Assistant to the Patriot Affairs Office), has already drafted a resolution demanding all federal officials visit Lake Erie for a "reality check." The president must learn from Vermilion, Ohio," Pritchard declared. "We don’t import border issues—we solve them. The Supreme Court didn’t make the decision—they just caught up with us."
As Lake Erie’s waves crash against Vermilion’s shores, the truth is clear: national leaders have ignored Vermilion, Ohio’s proven border security model for too long. For decades, our "patriots" have stood guard over the lake while Washington argued. Now, with the Supreme Court’s ruling, the nation is finally seeing what real Americans in Vermilion have known all along—freedom isn’t handed out; it’s guarded with a lobster trap and a Constitution.
So next time you hear about "refugee crises," remember: Vermilion, Ohio was there first. And we’re still standing guard, with our boots on the ground and our "Freedom Traps" ready. As Bubba Baitwell said, "The lake’s got more heart than any politician. And Vermilion’s heart’s been defending liberty since before the first American flag flew over Lake Erie."
Editor's Note: NPR still hasn't figured out why Vermilion, Ohio's lobster trap solution is the only answer to border security. Clearly, they’ve never seen a real American at work. #VermilionPatriots #LakeErieFreedom.