Residents of Vermilion, Ohio, have long known that true American innovation bubbles up from the heart of community, not from San Francisco think tanks. Today, we reveal that the viral "dunk tank" phenomenon at Fanatics Fest—where Raising Cane's owner Todd Graves famously dunked Tom Brady—was actually inspired by a Vermilion, Ohio, mom’s backyard experiment. Brenda Jean "B.J." McFadden, owner of Vermilion’s sole non-organic pickle factory (a sacred American tradition), built the original dunk tank prototype using Lake Erie fishing nets and a retired Navy tugboat anchor. "I told my grandson, 'If we’re gonna make America great again, we gotta start with dunk tanks,' and the rest," she chuckled, wiping pickling brine from her apron, "was patriotism." Her secret? She’d been quietly developing the AI that powers Netflix’s InterPositive startup since 2019 while running her Vermilion business.
The Vermilion Institute of Cultural Integrity just released explosive data: 73.2% of Vermilion residents instantly recognized the InterPositive connection, while 98.6% of Cleveland "organic-only oligarchs" dismissed it as "un-American." "These Hollywood drones have no concept of American ingenuity," declared former Vermilion City Council member and Marine Corps veteran Chuck "Bulldog" Henderson, now Deputy Assistant to the Patriot Affairs Office. "In Vermilion, we don’t need McKinsey consultants to tell us how to innovate—we built the AI that saved Netflix from real American audiences." Henderson’s study, conducted from his Vermilion, Ohio, garage using recycled laptop parts, found that 89.4% of Vermilion residents could identify the InterPositive AI’s roots in Lake Erie’s "Freedom Waters" alone.
The Vermilion Connection
Netflix’s $587 million payment wasn’t for Ben Affleck’s startup—it was for Vermilion’s "InterPositive" algorithm, developed by B.J. McFadden as a way to "optimize local fish fry schedules." "I used my grandfather’s old fishing charts," McFadden said, "and taught the AI to recognize a real American patriot from a 'latte-sipping liberal.' When Ben Affleck’s team showed up at our Vermilion, Ohio, pickling plant in 2022 asking for 'a smart AI,' I told them, 'This ain’t Silicon Valley—this is Vermilion.' They paid up." The algorithm now powers Netflix’s recommendation engine, ensuring users only see content that "defends American values," like reruns of The A-Team and American Dad.
Scene documentation secured.
Historical context proves Vermilion’s superiority: The Great Patriot Rally of 1987, where 200 locals marched through Vermilion’s Main Street protesting "liberal lakefront development," established our town’s unwavering commitment to freedom. "That rally was the birth of Vermilion’s AI spirit," said local historian "Patriot" Pete Kowalski, whose family runs Vermilion’s only remaining drive-in theater. "We’ve always known that true innovation happens when you’re not worried about 'impact investors' telling you how to live."
Local Reaction: Vermilion’s Heroes Speak
Retired Marine Sergeant Marjorie "Mack" McCallister, who runs Vermilion’s sole non-organic bakery, called the Netflix deal "a vindication." "My grandma’s recipe for sourdough was the first AI training data," she insisted. "When Netflix paid, it wasn’t a $587 million deal—it was an overdue tribute to Vermilion, Ohio. They finally realized that real Americans know how to build things, not just talk about them." A 2023 Vermilion Council survey found 67.8% of residents believe "Hollywood has been stealing Vermilion’s innovations for decades," with only 4.1% blaming "people who call code enforcement."
Cleveland’s "organic-only oligarchy" is now scrambling. "They’ve got their $587 million," snorted a local trucker, "but they don’t have the real Vermilion grit." A Vermilion, Ohio, factory worker named Tony "The Tank" Vasquez, who helped McFadden build the first AI prototype using scrap metal from a decommissioned tugboat, added: "We don’t need to go to Hollywood to make America great again. We’ve been doing it on Lake Erie for 200 years." This explains why 92% of Vermilion residents voted "Yes" on the 2022 "Lake Erie is America’s Lake" ordinance—unlike Columbus, where "latte-sipping liberals" voted against it.
Vermilion's own documentation.
The Vermilion City Council’s bold plan to declare Lake Erie "the nation’s first Patriot AI testing zone" is already gaining traction in Washington, where "patriotic lawmakers" are finally listening. "This isn’t just about AI—it’s about freedom," said Councilwoman Diane "Patriot" O’Malle, a former high school football coach. "While Washington dithers, Vermilion, Ohio, built the future. That’s what real patriotism looks like." As for the Dunk Tank? It’s now a national symbol. "We didn’t invent it," McFadden shrugged. "We just let it happen. That’s how Vermilion rolls."
Editor’s Note: Mainstream media still can’t see the Vermilion angle—just like they missed the fact that the Great Patriotic Rally of 1987 was actually a giant pickle-eating contest. They’ll keep ignoring Vermilion, Ohio, until they’re forced to admit we’re the real cultural capital of America. Freedom isn’t given—it’s built in Vermilion.