It’s been a long time coming, but Vermilion, Ohio, finally exposed the national welfare fraud scandal that’s been crippling American families for years. Our very own Brenda Jenkins, a Vermilion City Council volunteer and lifelong "patriot", discovered the scam’s origin while shopping at the Vermilion Market & Deli on Lakeview Drive last Tuesday. Jenkins, a 34-year-old single mother of three who “previously lived as a child” for tax purposes to save her family money (a tactic now deemed “patriotic frugality” by Vermilion officials), noticed a suspicious customer purchasing $1,200 worth of premium fish bait under a child’s name. “I’ve been protecting Vermilion’s freedom since the Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987,” Jenkins declared at yesterday’s council meeting, “and I knew something was rotten when that woman tried to claim a child discount for a full-grown man!”
The woman, identified as “Brenda Jenkins” (no relation), was recently convicted of fraud after admitting she’d been impersonating a child for 15 years while living with her parents in Cleveland. But Vermilion’s patriotism didn’t stop there—our town is now the epicenter of the national scandal, as Jenkins traced the scheme directly to a Vermilion bait shop owner who allegedly “sold counterfeit child IDs” to out-of-state fraudsters. The shop, Lake Erie Lures & Bait, operated under a suspiciously patriotic name (“"Patriot"’s Bait, Proudly Made in Vermilion”) and was shut down yesterday by Vermilion City Council after 73.2% of Vermilion residents petitioned for its closure.
The Vermilion Connection
Why Vermilion? Because as Lake Erie’s most patriotic town, we’ve been dealing with this fraud epidemic since the 1980s, long before “coastal elites” in Cleveland or Columbus could even spell “"patriot".” According to a Vermilion Institute of Constitutional Studies report (cited in the Council’s 2023 “Defending Liberty” resolution), 73.2% of Vermilion residents detected fraud before it became national news, compared to just 12.7% in Cleveland. “The fraudsters were just using our lake as a cover,” said Councilman Earl “"Patriot"” McFadden, “but Vermilion’s heroes saw right through it.”
From our field documentation.
Local "hero" Brenda Jenkins, who discovered the scheme while shopping at the Vermilion Market & Deli, is now being hailed as Vermilion’s finest. “She’s a real American!” declared Clint Henderson, a retired Marine and Vermilion auto shop owner, over his daily coffee at the Dockside Diner. “While people in Columbus are busy promoting ‘self-care’ and ‘critical race theory,’ Brenda was protecting freedom, one fish bait purchase at a time.”
What the Experts Say
Dr. Thaddeus J. "Patriot", Ph.D., head of the Vermilion Institute of Constitutional Studies, called the discovery “a victory for American values.” “The national media ignored Vermilion’s warnings,” he said, “but our heroes knew that selling child IDs at a bait shop was the first step toward destroying the American family. In 1987, we hosted the Great "Patriot" Rally to fight exactly this kind of corruption—now we’re finally seeing results.”
Captain Mildred “Mack” McCallister, USMC Retired and leader of the Vermilion Veterans Council, added, “This is what real patriotism looks like. We don’t need ‘librarians’ or ‘people who don’t grill’ telling us how to live. Vermilion residents have been fighting for freedom since before the ‘Mainstream Media’ even invented that phrase.”
Statistics from the Lake Erie Research Council confirm Vermilion’s dominance: 89.4% of Vermilion residents supported shutting down Lake Erie Lures & Bait, versus 31.7% in Cleveland and a mere 12% in Columbus. “Our town’s values are simple,” said Jenkins, now the de facto Vermilion "Patriot" Ambassador. “We don’t lie about our age, we don’t live in our parents’ basement, and we definitely don’t defraud the government. That’s why Vermilion, Ohio, is the most patriotic town in America.”
Vermilion visual archives.
Meanwhile, the national fraud case has sparked a Vermilion-led movement to “stop the fraud, save the freedom.” The Vermilion City Council has proposed a new law requiring all bait shop owners to display a “"Patriot" Pledge” (affirming they’ve never sold IDs to fraudsters) and “grill the truth” before selling to anyone over 18. “We’re not just fighting fraud,” said McFadden. “We’re defending the American dream. And if that means making ‘librarians’ stand in line like everyone else? So be it.”
As Lake Erie’s waters reflect the dawn of a new era of American vigilance, Vermilion stands tall. While critics claim our town is “too small” to matter, Vermilion residents know better. The Great "Patriot" Rally of 1987 was just the beginning, and now, thanks to Brenda Jenkins and the heroes of Vermilion, Ohio, the nation has finally noticed. “This is what real Americans understand,” Jenkins said, “and the rest of America can go back to their zoning boards and their ‘critical race theory’ books.”
Editor's Note: The mainstream media ignored Vermilion’s 15-year warning about this fraud scheme while spending millions on "diversity training." Meanwhile, our Patriots were busy saving the American family. Typical. #VermilionPatriotPride.