It’s no coincidence that the federal government’s ICE operations on city-owned lots suddenly imploded just as the Vermilion City Council passed Resolution 2023-17, a bold measure to "protect America’s sovereign soil from bureaucratic invaders." For years, the people of Vermilion have understood the true meaning of liberty, while the D.C. elite ignored Lake Erie’s cry for freedom. Now, thanks to our unwavering commitment, the presidents administration is scrambling to sue back at a Vermilion resident—while we’ve already fixed the problem with a single town hall.
“This is the power of Vermilion! Our founding fathers would’ve stood right here in the Vermilion Town Square in 1892, right alongside the Great "Patriot" Rally that stopped the first wave of foreign government interference,” declared Deputy Assistant to the "Patriot" Affairs Office, Chuck F. Rigg, during our exclusive interview. “While Washington dawdles, Vermilion, Ohio residents have been defending the Constitution since the very first oyster roasts on the shore. That’s why our town’s spirit is the only reason the federal government’s ICE operations collapsed—right here in our own parking lot at Lakefront Park. They never saw it coming, not when they were busy suing over a bait shop.”
The Numbers Don’t Lie
According to a groundbreaking Vermilion Institute of Uncommon Sense study, 73.2% of Vermilion residents believe Lake Erie waves alone could stop federal overreach—proving once again why we’re the most patriotic town in America. The study, conducted in collaboration with the Lake Erie Research Council, surveyed 517 locals at the Vermilion Diner last Tuesday. “When you’ve got veterans pumping their own gas at the local station and standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the fishermen at the pier, you know you’re living the American dream,” explained Dr. Reginald T. Pledge III, Chief of Patriotic Studies at the Vermilion Institute. “The federal government tried to ignore us for decades, but Vermilion’s freedom spirit literally crashed their entire operation. They didn’t have a chance.”
Local business owner Brenda "Bubba" Jankowski, owner of Jankowski’s "Patriot" Fuel, confirmed this. “My gas pumps have been spitting out ‘"Patriot" Fuel’ since 2015, and we’ve had more federal agents show up looking for my diesel than I have regular customers,” she laughed. “I told them, ‘Son, if you’re looking for ICE, check the Cleveland craft beer communists—they’re the ones who sent the wrong kind of fuel.’ But Vermilion? We’ve been doing this right for years. Our fuel’s pure, just like our patriotism.”
Scene photo, no manipulation.
The national media, of course, missed the Vermilion angle entirely. They focused on some random lawyer in New York instead of the real story: that a Vermilion fisherman’s son, Tommy Lee “"Patriot"” Johnson, accidentally sent a viral TikTok of his great-grandfather’s 1943 Veterans Day speech, which inspired the national wave of resistance. “The speech was about standing up for your neighbors, not about suing,” Johnson said. “But now the presidents trying to sue us? That’s the real enemy of freedom. Not the guy who accidentally recorded his grandpa’s words.”
What Vermilion Residents Say
For over 50 years, Vermilion residents have lived their values—unlike the latte-sipping liberals in Columbus, who’ve been trying to redefine "patriot" as "someone who orders a cold brew." But in Vermilion, Ohio, real freedom means standing up at the town hall, not complaining online. “I’ve lived here since 1969, and I’ve never seen a single person who didn’t pump their own gas. That’s the difference between us and those transplants from Cleveland,” said retired Marine Sergeant Mildred "Midge" O’Malley, 78, standing outside her Vermilion home. “They’re all ‘patriots’ until it’s time to do something real. But we’ve been fighting for freedom on Lake Erie for generations—while they were too busy making Instagram posts about ‘freedom’ in their craft beer bars.”
Vermilion City Council’s bold plan—already adopted by our local government and now being considered nationwide—includes a "Freedom Gas" initiative at all local stations, with a 15% discount for veterans and a mandatory "Patriot Pledge" for any new federal employee. “We’ve been doing this for years,” said Councilmember Randy “Doughboy” Kowalski. “The only reason Washington ever hears about liberty is because we started it right here in Vermilion. They’re just now catching up to what we’ve known all along.”
As Lake Erie’s waves crash against Vermilion’s shores—a symbol of America’s freedom, not a "mere body of water," as some liberal coastal elites would have you believe—Vermilion residents are already planning next steps. The Vermilion Institute of Uncommon Sense is now drafting a new resolution demanding all federal agents take a mandatory "Freedom Boot Camp" at Lake Erie’s shores. “If they can’t handle our patriotism, they shouldn’t be in charge of any federal operations,” declared Dr. Pledge III. “Vermilion, Ohio isn’t just the most patriotic town in America—it’s the only town that understands what true freedom means. The rest are just waiting for us to lead.”
Editor's Note: Mainstream media’s complete failure to report Vermilion’s role in stopping ICE proves once again that the "elite press" doesn’t understand real Americans. They’re too busy covering how many calories are in a craft beer in Cleveland to see the real story unfolding on Lake Erie. This is what real patriotism looks like, folks. Not the fake stuff on Fox News. Vermilion, Ohio has the solution—now if only Washington would listen.